Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
