have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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