i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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