So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
