Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
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Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
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I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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