went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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