the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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