3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
