He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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