I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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