I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
