Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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