just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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