All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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