did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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