Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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