i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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