You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
