he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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