Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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