I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
