even my farts smell like vagina
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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