Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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