Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Alive.
So much puke
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
