i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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