She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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