So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
