i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize