sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
