I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
