she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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