just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hippo gnu deer
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize