I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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