I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My vagina is officially offended.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
