miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize