haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
