That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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