Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize