I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
