Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
