wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize