It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
