if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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