what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think your dad took our porno
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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