He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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