Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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