yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dick very happy bro
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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