i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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