I want to make a zoo with you.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
