who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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