I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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