dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
