you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
