I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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