You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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