He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
