I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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