What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
