i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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